The Last Full week as a Sophomore...its ending so fast!!

I am watching Divine Design on HGTV...on a Friday night(pathetic, I know) currently listening to "Feel Good Inc." by the Gorillaz, a song I fell in love with in High School!!! I can't believe how long I have been out of High school!! I sometimes look at my yearbooks and laugh about the craziness that was my journey through LCPA! I remember the first time I walked into the JROTC room, my cousin Josh had just talked ot me about joining JROTC. I was of course drawn to it by the opportunity to win medals and the shoulder cords(we all know I'm a sucker for pomp and circumstance!). I also remember the first time I skipped school:senior year, was hungry and grabbed two friends and we decided to go to Chili's! We had a blast (except for the fact that my car was dying, I had to press the gas and the brake at the same time to keep it form shutting off at a light!!)! I also remember all of those dances: JROTC Ball (went four times, and each year hoped that my name would be listed on the program[Senior year it was :)]), JR YR Prom, and of course Senior Prom!! I really learned to enjoy myself at those balls, they really gave me a chance to be a different version of myself: a more outgoing, personable Bobby_2010, and secretly I loved every minute of it. I am trying to make that version of Bobby_2010 the permanent version! I have actually worked on becoming more outgoing, b/c I am a great person and I have no reason to have this aversion to people. I am trying to allow myself to be more open to people, I have realized that the mask I created to keep from being hurt by kids that wanted to tease me for being the fat kid has ceased being a mask and has become my true public face. I realized that there are people that will hurt me, but there are so many more people that would help me and support me. I have also learned that to be hurt is to be human, and human is all that I need to be! As Girl with the open mind would say, if God be for me WHO can be against me?? I'm learning to let go and let God!

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

--Paul Laurence Dunbar