Did I Miss Something...a Memo Maybe?

I just do not understand why people think it's okay to question my faith. I mean, I expect it from some people, like my married friend, my grandmother, and my uncle that is a deacon. But from my BFF? I mean, I expected that even if you didn't agree with my views, you would still respect ME enough to discuss them without making charges that I'm lukewarm in my beliefs. I mean, I try to base my beliefs off what I read in the Bible, with my own eyes. I am also an American, so I truly believe in a separation of church and state. i believe that our Constitution was meant to protect the minority from the whims of the majority. I do NOT see any issue with this. I feel that as a Christian, fighting for HUMAN RIGHTS is a major part of why I am here. I also believe that the government should not be allowing the whims of "religious" hate mongers to prevent certain groups from participating in CIVIL ceremonies. I would never try to force a church to perform a gay wedding, I would never force a racist to perform an interracial wedding, but I DO expect officials to uphold the US Constitution and allow persons to exercise their UNALIENABLE rights, despite how I, or anyone feels about it. I feel that I am following in the footsteps of Christ when I stand up for those that are abused by members of our society that happen to be in the mainstream. Jesus hung out with the hated tax collectors, and at least one unclean woman.

I do not see why there is an issue with my questioning the things that do not make sense to me. But I guess because I try to get other perspectives on my questions some folks take it as the only reason I read is so that I can have more ammo to go against the "FAITH." it's not like that, I mean I read the Bible and there are some things that are at perfect peace with my heart, and there are others that are not. I feel that since I have been created with this mind, I can question things until they are explained in a satisfactory way. I'm so over it...this whole "religion" thing...I just wanna do me...why can't other folks just let me alone??

I'm sorry to ramble, but I had to put this out here so I could see it and get my words together before I attempt to go and make nice with my BFF...

Happy Honda (or Holi-, if you aren't in the market for a car) Days!

Had a blast with the buds! Just like high-school times, we were all sober the whole time! And folks(read: Ms. (im)Perfection) think i can't have fun without alcohol! Here's hoping the New Year brings less drama, and head-/heartache!!!

Path to the Future

So I went shopping for some jeans yesterday, I was so appalled! I have gained so much weight! I need to make some changes seriously...I'm working on developing a plan to get back to at least the weight I was in high school. I'm so out of shape. I need to get back into the gym...I might have to take Chaos-n-Motion up on his idea to join this gym back in the school town.

Also, I'm thinking I'm gonna buy a tennis racket and play with Ms. (im)Perfection, that way we can work out together. We also decided that we are gonna stop our late night runs to Checker's, but we're still gonna go to Ru San's and eat sushi...that shit is good. lol

Tagged...yet, again.

So, I guess it's about time to start blogging again...and to start off...I'll make this list that I was tagged to do by Dbaby, and TGITG. I'm guessing that I am supposed to just list some random things about myself...IDK, really, but that's what it'll be.

7. I am really good at giving advice, but I'm horrible at following my own advice...hell, I rarely follow any advice...

6. I am a little lost now that I'm not basically the smartest person I know...it's kinda scary.

5. I sometimes wonder why my friends still bother to deal with me...I've realized I'm a mean ass bastard

4. I really feel torn about how to feel about being a virgin at 20...damn-near 21...especially when I'm closest to the folks who aren't virgins in my group...I hate feeling left out of the convos

3. I really Have NO clue what I'm to do in life...I see so many paths...but no clear roads...

2. I have damned food addiction...I'm seriously thinking that I might.

1. I like drinking, but i don't wanna...I'm scared I may be a worse parent than the ones I've seen...and I feel like alcohol will be the end of my "bright future" as folks like to call it...

WHY is this my life?

I am swamped with school, I just thought of a topic for my paper that is due on thursday(after weeks spent looking through sources), I am so BROKE...but Friday is pay day. and this is the final full week fo school, so I have a couple of weeks to get my life together and eeek out an acceptable GPA!

In other HORRID news, I failed a course required for my major, I withdrew, so it's no problem of bringing down my GPA but, and here's the kicker, I have to take 15 hours each semester to keep my scholarship...I'm only taking 12 hours now...but if i had stayed in the class and failed I would've been in worse condition...so WHAT am I TO DO?? Can't really stress about it now.

Also, I think I may be in trouble as far as grades go anyway, because of my spotty attendance! I REALLY HATE GOING TO THIS TINY SCHOOL at times! why do we have to have attendance policies? if I don't feel like going to class that should be my prerogative!

but other than that, life is great! lol, I can't even take myself seriously saying this....since this is my life...and it's SCREWED up...my life is, in essence, screwed up! HELP ME!!!

Sometimes

This is inspired by a post I saw on The Baby Daddy Diaries.

Sometimes...I feel like a nut.
Sometimes...I don't.
Sometimes...I just wanna quit.
Sometimes...I wanna cry.
Sometimes...it's too hard.
Sometimes...I just have to laugh at it.
Sometimes...I wonder why.
Sometimes...I don't feel like answering the phone.
Sometimes...I just don't care.
Sometimes...I get sick of everyone.
Sometimes...I get sick of everything.
Sometimes...I want to be alone.
Sometimes...I'm overjoyed!
Sometimes...I need you around.
Sometimes...I feel undeserving of the blessings.
Sometimes...I just need to be myself.
Sometimes...I need to realize my own limits.
Sometimes...I care entirely too much.
Sometimes...I long for the days when I was carefree.
Sometimes...I smile for no (apparent) reason.
Sometimes...I need help.
Sometimes...I want to give up and go home.
Sometimes...I feel like a failure.
Sometimes...I feel so LOST!
Sometimes...i pray it through.
Sometimes...I feel so confused.
Sometimes...I feel like me...a blogger called Bobby_2010...

And history has been made!

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

I want this....SSSOoooooooooooo BAD!!!`

And Secretly...you do too!! But I'm not about to change to Verizon anytime soon(at least not for the next two years), so i won't be able to get it!

20 Something Bloggers, as you Requested

So 20 Something Bloggers wanted us all to do a video blog post and here is my contribution(this WILL NOT become a regular thing!!):

Whew!! Glad the wait is over!!

Y'ALL!!! I have been going through! Being broke is no joke, but it is made all the worse when you are owed money by someone who has it and refuses to give it to you! Well, that was my life dealing with this freakin' school, waiting on this refund!! It was a saga! I was promised it Thursday, then I gave them until Friday evening...and was on edge all of Saturday, and Sunday....OH, Sun-DAYEEEE...I was ready to head to the top of the parking deck and JUMP!!! I really was so over life at that point! But that has all changed, I FINALLY got my DAMN money today! and in the words of the notorious The Artist, "Imma poarty, and Imma eat!" Seriously...with Homecoming around the corner..I need Shoes, a new suit, and I have pay for tickets to all of the shit and I also have to buy plane tickets and play tickets(I'm going to see WICKED!!!)and a whole bunch of other shit...but I clearly have shit to do...so I bid you, o blogosphere, adieu!

The week from hell!!!

SO this was definitely not my week! I lost 100 dollars that I don't have and now need, I didn't even get the letter of recommendation for this organization I want to join, I didn't get a workstudy job, and to top it all off...My FUCKING Refund is still not here yet!! So what the FUCK am I to do?? I swear, things felt like they couldn't get worse, but, alas they did: my phone is technically out of service, but I can still get incoming communiques.

I am hating all of this drama! I just wanna go to class, eat some good food, watch some nice tv, and chillax on the weekends. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?? I am so over this place...this city sucks, and my school sucks ass most of the time!

I am about ready to fire these suckas on my e-board for the Af-Am Studies Club: this Tuesday will be our fourth "FIRST" general Body meeting...WTF?? I mean I have an e-board so that everything doesn't fall on one person! I mean I made the fliers, why the fuck can't you print them and post them, without me micro-managing shit?? I mean I told the VP to call an e-board meeting, this fool completely ignored me and I had to call it...if I'm doing it all, I'll do it all and get rid of the dead weight! The Treasurer is not doing shit that I ask him to, I need to put together a damn budget so that I can go get appropriations and this fool will not go meet with our adviser to figure out the shit to put on the paper...Just go sit down and write!! and then give the shit to the VP, and please go and get a damn Treasurer's report form the damn business office...not the same one that I gave you from MAY!!!

This rant is over...I am so worn out by this shit...and I'm about over it...if too much else goes wrong...I'm gonna need to go on the watch!!

Throwback Friday

I know I have been MIA and haven't really written anything, but soon, I promise!! In the meantime, listen to these throwbacks, I feel like these are inspirational (you be the judge).

And Kanye continues to kill it!!!

Where does he come up with this shit?? I love it though!!



Kanye is my boy...even with his erratic ass behavior!

Wonderful Weekend

This weekend was a great! I mean it is actually the first time I can remember going each day of the weekend and not getting pissed at someone! I really had fun on Friday, with Upward Mobility, The Young Lady, and another friend, Naldo. We went to dinner and it was actually quite fun! and it's always fun to hang with fellow bloggers!! I got to speak to Drangry! I miss her dearly! I also spoke to Pink Blossoms and Dria da Diva! I can't wait to be reunited with these guys!! But back to Friday, I have realized I need sleep! I stayed up until 5:30 AM talking to Upward Mobility and Naldo...about nothing important! But I have come to appreciate being able to experience that sort fo thing, I mean we have come up with plans to take over the world...not just the city, but the World Craig(OOOPS! I mean reader), and it was quite fun!

I slept most of Saturday, When i did get up finally, it was to help the Artiste move into his new Apartment. And then to dinner, and then the Footbal game, whcih I'm happy to report, we won!! And then to the Bowling Alley! i bowled like 4, maybe 5 strikes, we only got up to 8 frames...i was pretty dang excited about those strikes!! And Lucky was trying to hate on my technique...WACK!! and then we went to Malpractice's Apartment, I really like his girlfriend...she is so nice!! But I still don't like being around him, b/c it makes me feel bad about how I act towards him. But I'm gonna try something new, just try to check my self...and keep our communication to a minimum, that way i don't have to worry about talking to him crazy!

I got up this morning and went to Church...it was amazing! and I should let you know why it was such a big deal, I have been questioning whther or not my personal values are in conflict with the values of the churches I have been attending, and whether that is reflective of the kinds of issues other folk go through when trying to reconcile progressive ideals with the inherently conservative(if nto regressive) tendencies of the Christian community. but I am trying to work thorugh it...pray for me!

And this is hotness..

I usually don't like stuff like this, but this was hot!! I have to give credit where it's due, I heard this on the Black Girl in the City's page, check her out! And I do realize that I'm probably way beyond old on get this!

7 Years Later

I can remember sitting in my favorite middle school class, American History. It was fourth period and we had this HUGE tv in the classroom. I had never even heard of the World Trade Center, I did know what the Pentagon was though(My dad is an ex-sailor). I just remember hearing folks saying that we were under attack, i didn't quite realize how huge the US is at that time. SO i figured that if it happened in NYC and the DC area, we were at risk too. It didn't help that some dumbass was saying that the next targets would be the schools with the smartest students, I was at the best school in the area...so we were all trying to get home. they herded us into the cafeteria and pulled out all the kids with connections to NYC, or DC. My friend couldn't get in contact with his dad, who was scheduled to fly to NYC early that morning...so we were all scared, it turns out he didn't even leave and came up to the school to reassure my buddy...we were all relieved.

But as time went on, I felt bad for the Muslim kids in my school, b/c folks were already acting rude to them talking about how they were terrorists. These were kids that we had known for a few years and hung out with regularly(well, not me, but the other kids...I didn't hang out when i was younger). I will admit...I had never flown and was not looking forward to ever doing it, and now clearly I try to fly everywhere that more than an 8-hour drive! Funny how things change! I was almost late class trying to watch the Pentagon ceremony, that memorial is nice!!

It's Kinda Funny How Life Works...

I was sitting here reflecting on how much stuff has changed from when I first came to this school three years ago. I mean i had no friends, I was looking for a place to transfer to that would be closer to home. I had never had ginger ale before, I had never been to the South before, and I had never had to be without my family on Holidays.

Now I routinely drink ginger ale(usually mixed with other things, but it is good alone too!), I basic live in the South, I stay down here for at least 9 months of every 12, and I only spend three holidays with my family(Christmas, New Year's, and Memorial Day). I have sort of adopted a pseudo-family in my friends. I mean I spend more time with these sickos than I do with my actual family! I have grown to love folks that I loathed, I've had those falling-outs that all families have, and I have grown apart from some I was close to, and grown closer to some that i had distant relationships with at first. Things are changing, and I think all for the better.

I have been doing some introspection, and I have realized that I'm a horrible friend to Malpractice. I don't know exactly why, but I think it has ot do with jealousy(he is from a relatively wealthy family, and he's not a virgin; while I am from a poor family, and I am still a virgin). And since I'm such a bad friend to him, I feel even worse b/c his new girlfriend asked him if I was his best friend, and he said yes...I felt like shit!! And that just makes me dislike him more! I need help, btu really, he should just cut me loose, he shouldn't put up with this shit!

But on the other hand, Psych Ward and I have become like borthers, he confides in me and I in him. I think it may have something to do with our similar backgrounds, neither of us comes from money, and the current home situations aren't necessarily the best. But we are both determined to make it!

I think that this line of thinking, being mean and rude to the more well-off of my friends, and nicer, more caring to the less well-off among them, is a habit with me. I mean, IDK what is going on! I have some thinking to do, or maybe I should do some pruning, and cut folks out...btu that wouldn't solve anything, would it? I guess I have to do some soul searching...wish me luck.

It's the Small Things That Make Life Great

Last night about 11:45 me, Ms. (im)Perfection, Psych Ward, and Upward Mobility decided to go to get some of the best pizza I have ever had, from this local place. I mean the pizza was great, but the convo was wonderful!! I wish I could remember what it was about, but since we talk in circles and randomly select topics, I won't even hurt my self trying. I will say that I have the best folks on earth surrounding me! We have all changed so much, and I have learned that first impressions are usually misleading. because I definitely started off hating Psych Ward and Upward Mobility, and now they are some of my favorite people on earth!

I really wish that I hadn't wasted most of yesterday, I have a ton of work to do this weekend, a ton of reading, and I still need to do some laundry. I am such a SLACKER!!!!! I guess, I'll write more when i can clear my mind and put together real sentences.

O, BTW...Malpractice's Ex-gf, is a true bitch...her status was raw on Facebook: I laughed but then I thought about the fact that it was my boy, who had done everything he could to help her in her sick, twisted, and dimented life. And this chick has the nerve to write this:(insert name) hopes it's not dysfunctional this go round lmao I finally found someone who knows what the hell he's doing :-).
THEN she wrote this: let me stop lmao.

and THEN this: deon was right, a true man (....boy, really) could not do someone as dirty as he did. I can't be mad at no one but myself abd learn.

Now she says he did her wrong...he bought her a phone, let her move in with him, and then let her stay once they broke up...and then she talks all kinds of shit this summer, and now b/c he refuses to put up with her shit and has moved to another (real) woman she is acting funny...where do these crazy folks come from??

I think I might have...

Seriously...I think that I some form of dementia. I mean, why else would i forget almost everything? The short-term memory is just about non-existent! I got on here to write about something I was thinking about earlier, and only five minutes elapsed between the thought and the signing into Blogger. I hate this...and I'm READY TO GO!!! I have so many great folks to hang out with!!

What on earth is going on?

So I have been trying to get in touch with but Call me Felicia all damn
summer. Everytime I call it goes straight to voicemail. WTF?? I am kinda
worried about her, I really miss my buddy...do any of you guys know
what's up with her? If you hear from her, tell her I'm thinking about
her.

Update: FALSE Alarm...I just didn't get the text with the new number...b/c I was hab=ving phone issues back when it got changed....so move forward with your life, I am...lol
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